In December of 2019, my world came crashing down around me! I suffered a loss that was extremely precious to me and the rug was pulled right out from under me. I was numb, heartbroken, and consumed with so much pain I could barely move.
I am an avid animal lover, I have never had human children, and my pets ARE my children, I lost "my" child on Dec 12th 2019-and it broke me!
NOW this is not the first loss in my life, no not even close, I have had many losses of all kinds, and various upsets throughout my life. I have been knocked down SO many times it would be impossible to count them.
BUT I ALWAYS get back up!
This time I was not so sure. Then just as I started to pick myself up and out of that pit of despair, 3 months later in March of 2020-the world changed in an instant, and life as we knew it along with all of the freedoms associated with it, was gone without much warning at all as we all looked on in disbelief!
It was that ONE extra hit. Would I have the strength to get up ONE more time?
The loss of "a dog" may not seem like something that could actually "break" someone to many people. To me though? That little boy was one of the very biggest parts of my world! He was not even two years old and the grief was overwhelming! However, even though I had thought I may not have the strength (or the will) inside of me to get back up, I did slowly start to pick myself up, I re-aligned myself Spiritually with God, I started working out, delving back into business, even started socializing again; only to hit another big wall! A plague that took the world by surprise, and the very tools I had been using to climb up out of that pit I was in had been taken from me, again-in an instant! Now what?
That Was A Good Question-Now What?
It is not in my MO to give in and give up but I did!
For months I just went through the motions, I ATE, watched tv, drank (yes booze was my friend), watched more tv, played video games-and ATE some more! No workouts, no business coming my way, no jobs to be had, no family and/or friends to connect with.
And even worse......
No real PURPOSE and NO sense of SELF anymore-so I just kept on giving into a lifestyle that was NOT serving me well at all!
Depression has been something I had never given into for prolonged periods of time in my life before, in fact, I despise the very word. However, grief had its way with me and I had given in,,, I had given up on myself! I felt like this time there would be no RESET to be had in my life.
I DID Get Back Up!
When I lost my baby boy in 2019 that strong Spiritual alignment that I have with our Creator was at risk!
Now, I know that I am not exempt from the hardships of life, none of us are, but I guess I thought I must have been something special.
How could God have let this happen to me and THEN allow everything that I so desperately needed to help fight all that was coming against me to be taken away?
THANKFULLY that kind of thinking was very short-lived. I was able to come back into His Light.
I RESET once again and this time it's for life! We have choices every day, we all do, small ones and big ones. Living life in darkness is unacceptable! Upsets, hardships and even tragedies in our lives and our relationships are inevitable. Having the ability to RESET is a tool that is a MUST in the world we live in.
We can and will fall as we go about navigating this thing called life, but we always have to CHOOSE to get back up! Hitting my personal bottom and feeling like there was just no way out this time, then CHOOSING to get up AGAIN and RESET, has released a newfound freedom within that no one/nothing can take from me.
We can always Reset -SELF!
THAT first step we all need to take before we take on anything -is to RESET-Self first and foremost.